Funny poems go to the heart "Dr.Seuss"

The teacher guides the children's poetry reading Dr.Seuss can find funny poems will make lessons more fun, not boring. Here's a collection of poems:

"#1: The Juice "

I did not kill my lovely wife.

I did not slash her with a knife.

I did not bonk her on the head.

I did not know that she was dead.

I stayed at home that fateful night.

I took a limo, then took a flight.

The bag I had was just for me.

My bag! My bag! Hey, leave it be!

When I came home, I had a gash.

My hand was cut from broken glass.

I cut my hand on broken glass.

A broken glass did cause that gash.

My friend, he took me for a ride.

All through LA, from side to side.

From north to south, we took a ride.

But from the cops we could not hide.

My trial lasted for one year.

A year! A year! Just sitting here!

The DNA, the HEM, the HAW!

The circus-hype the viewers saw!

A year! A year! Just sitting here!

Did you do this awful crime?

Did you do this anytime?

I did not do this awful crime.

I could not, would not, anytime.

Did you take this person's life?

Did you do it with a knife?

I did not do it with a knife.

I did not, could not, kill my wife.

I did not do this awful crime.

I could not, would not, anytime.

Did you hit her from above.

Did you drop this bloody glove?

I did not hit her from above.

I cannot even wear that glove.

I did not do it with a knife.

I did not, could not, kill my wife.

I did not do this awful crime.

I could not, would not, anytime.

The glove you see it doesn't fit

The lawyer says you must acquit

Acquit because the cops all lied

Acquit, acquit the lawyer cried

The jury came back verdict in hand

and silence fell across the land

Not guilty, not guilty they did decree

Not guilty, not guilty, you must set him free

And now I am free, I can return

To my house for which I yearn.

And to my family whom I love.

Now would you please return my glove!!

Funny poems - Dr.Seuss

"#2: The Ballot Counting According ~ by Dr. Seuss"

Can we count them with our nose?

Can we count them with our toes?

Should we count them with a band?

Should we count them all by hand?

If I do not like the count,

I will simply throw them out!

I will not let this vote count stand,

I do not like them, and Al Gore I am!

Can we change these numbers here?

Can we change them, calm my fears?

What do you mean Dubya has won?

That is not fair! It ruins my fun!

Let's count them upside down this time

Let's count until the state is mine!

I will not let THIS vote count stand!

I do not like it, and Al Gore I am!

I'm really ticked, I'm in a snit!

You have not heard the last of it!

I'll count the ballots one by one

And hold each up before the sun!

I'll count, recount, and count some more!

You'll grow to like this little chore!

I will not let this vote count stand!

I do not like it, and Al Gore I am!

I won't leave office, stayin' here

I've glued my desk chair to my rear!

Tipper, Hillary, and Bubba too,

Are telling me that I should SUE!

"We find the Electoral College vile!

Recount the votes until WE smile!

We do not want this vote to stand!

We do not LIKE it, Al Gore-I-am!"

How shall we count THIS ballot box?

Let's count it standling in our socks!

Shall we count this one in a tree?

And who shall count it, you or me?

We cannot, cannot count enough!

We must not stop, we must be tough!

I do not want this vote to stand!

I do not like it, and Al Gore I am!

I've counted till my fingers bleed

And still can't fufill my counting need.

I'll count the tiles on the floor

And even count the ones next door!

And I will not say I am done

until the counting says I've WON!

I will not let this vote count stand!

I do not like it, and Al Gore I am!

What's that? What? What's that you say?

You think the current count should....STAY?????

You do not like my counting scheme?

It makes you tense? Gives you bad dreams?

Foolish folks, you're wrong, you'll see!

Your ony care should be for ME!

I will not let this vote count stand!

I do not like it, and Al Gore I am!

In addition, you can find out the funny video about the poem's author